250 things James would never say
#1
Опубликовано 24 Сентябрь 2005 - 01:26
"Bill, bill, bill, bill.....letter from dead wife.....bill, bill, bill...."
or something along these lines
James: "Uh, Maria, do you think you could help me out with opening this refrigerator?"
Maria: "Awwww, what's the matter? Big strong man needs help from a woman?"
James: "Actually, it has nothing to do with strength and everything to do with my inability to open most doors."
Or some more:
"Hey Eddie, think you could spare a slice of that pizza? I'm hungry."
"Hey dont worry Eddie life gets better even though your ugly and stupid."
What can say you about that?
#2
Опубликовано 24 Сентябрь 2005 - 10:17
James (thinks it's Laura): "Take her! That disgusting brat can die for all I care!"
Harry: "What?! That's my daughter you're talking about!"
James: "So you're the person who spawned that thing? Then you shall die!"
Epic fight of the century then commences...
Eddie: "Uh, James, can I ask you a favor?"
James: "What is it this time?"
Eddie: "Well, when I was throwing up in the toilet, my wallet just sorta fell in..."
James (rolls up sleeves): "Don't you worry. I'm a professional."
James: "I really need to get in shape."
James (after leaving Silent Hill): "Man, I hope I never have to go through that again. I think I'll take a relaxing vacation in Ashfield..."
Frank Sunderland: "Hey James, my boy, I want to have a man-to-man talk to you... it's about sex."
James: "Dad, I'm 28 years old, I'm married. I know all about it."
Frank: "Then how come you don't have any of them kids?"
James: "Well, because we didn't want any and Mary died before that happened, you senile old fool."
Frank: "Did you know that kids are born out of apartment rooms? And those kids have this thing attached to them. Oddest thing I ever seen."
James: "Dad, are you off your medication again?"
Frank: "So I kept the umbilical cord in this box, but for some reason it started to smell, and then you came along."
James: " I'm calling the men with the white jackets...."
Frank: "And that's where babies come from!"
James: "Dad, go back home. I'll buy you a hooker or something. Will you go back home?"
Frank: "That's why you never had any kids, you idiot. You didn't have any of them apartment thingies..."
James: "Don't make me pull out my pillow, Dad...."
James: "What? Maria is really only my sexual fantasy brought to life? Then why does she still have clothes on?"
James to Pyramid Head: "You know, it's not the size of the sword, it's how you wield it."
Eddie: "If anyone makes fun of me again, I'll kill 'em, just like that!"
James: "I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. Did you say something, lard@$$?"
James (last words): "Bottomless Gorge? I wonder what's down there..."
#3
Опубликовано 24 Сентябрь 2005 - 16:55
One word - LOL =)
Especially this:
#4
Опубликовано 24 Сентябрь 2005 - 22:44
James: "What is it this time?"
Eddie: "Well, when I was throwing up in the toilet, my wallet just sorta fell in..."
James (rolls up sleeves): "Don't you worry. I'm a professional."
#5
Опубликовано 25 Сентябрь 2005 - 01:04
Some more:
*James is reading his wife's letter the first time.*
"In my restless dreams I see that town... Silent Hill.
You promised you'd take me there again some day...
but, you never did..."
*James crumbles the letter up.*
"Oh man! She's still alive?!? I thought I killed her! Oh man... the police are going to be all after me for attempted murder. Okay James, think.. think! Maybe I should grow a beard? Go to Africa and camp out for a while!? Or.... I possibly could..... or maybe I.... I will..... etc."
James:
"You havent seen that red pyrimid thing have you?"
Ediie:
Wha.. I dont know what your talking about.."
James :
" then your a worthless piece of s**t."
*Video finishes playing in Room 312*
Laura: Hey James? Whats the matter, huh?
James: .........
Laura: James? Lets go.
James: ..........
Laura: James?
James: .....I.....Got.....A.... SNUFF VIDEO!!!
*James jumps around*
#6
Опубликовано 26 Сентябрь 2005 - 03:21
Maria: It doesn’t matter who I am... I’m here for you, James. See? I’m real. Don’t you want to touch me?
James: Urrrm, no... But if you were a DOG, then...
Angela: No. Don’t pity me. I’m not worth it....
James: Hell yeah! Get the f*** away from my way already, stupid bitch!
Eddie: Killin’ a person ain’t no big deal. Just put the gun to their head...pow!
James: That's right (*then shots poor Eddie down with a shotgun*).
James: Angela! Relax!
Angela: Don’t order me around!
James: I’m not trying to order you.
Angela: So what do you want then? Oh I see, you’re trying to be nice to me, right? :lighten: I know what you’re up to. It’s always the same. You’re only after one thing.
James: so you have figured me out, little girl
Angela: ???
James (*pushes Angela to the ground and rapes her*)
Angela: No, daddy, please no! Daddy!! No, not there :loki25: ... here... yeah, right.... owwww.... that's much better... daddy....
(James rides Brookhaven elevator with Maria)
Announcer: Hi there everybody, thanks for tuning in. Welcome to another exciting edition of “Trick or Treat”! Here you either answer the questions correctly and win a great prize, or fail to answer correctly and receive the punishment. It all depends on you. And our lucky, or should I say unlucky, challenger today is James! James Sunderland!
James (opens a thick book): This time i have a Silent Hill Plot Analysis ! Bwahahaha!!!
#7
Опубликовано 26 Сентябрь 2005 - 07:54
I stole it from there
#8
Опубликовано 01 Октябрь 2005 - 02:58
#9
Опубликовано 01 Октябрь 2005 - 22:38
:lol2:
Angela: You could always just beat me up like he always did.....
James: Wellll then. If you insist. *polishes steel pipe*
*In the Angela Cut Scene With The Knife*
James: Angela, there is other ways... you dont have to do this... I mean you can use my chainsaw, or drown yourself, or shoot yourself... theres alot of other ways.
Eddie: Everyone's always making fun of me and pushing me around!
James: Well if you will sit around with your fat ass spilling out of your pants....
Maria: How are you so skinny James.
James: Im on a health drink diet.
James: I swear, if I have to jump down one more hole, I--Falls down the last hole, gets up and turns flashlight on, as Heather did when entering the amusement park.- ...oh, hell.
James: -Sees the first monster in the beginning of the game, clings to it, then gasps.- You're not Mary!
Maria: James!
James: Stop! Lea--wait. There's...two of them? Noooo!
Maria: -Dies-
James: -Gets up and turns around, sees the two Pyramid Heads.- Oh no...whatshouldidowhatshouldido...uhm...uhm...I know! -Takes out a tube of mentos, starts dancing(badly) and singing the mentos theme.-
PH1: That's it, I quit. -Walks away.-
#10
Опубликовано 07 Октябрь 2005 - 05:43
Rollo :roll2: :lol2:
Изменено: Лёхыч, 07 Октябрь 2005 - 06:13
#11
Опубликовано 07 Октябрь 2005 - 05:46
James: *stops suddenly and turns are to look at Maria*
Maria: *runs into James* What the hell are you doing?! Keep going you dumb*ss! Im going to die in like *looks at watch* 2 MINUTES!
James: *still stares at her,grinning for a while*
*PH soon catches up and runs into Maria, falling down. It takes him a while to get up because of his big head*
PH: Dude! What the f*ck are you doing?! We're in the middle of a game!
James:* still staring and grinning, announces loudly, I've got new socks on!
Maria: *looks at him funny* Oh my god.....
PH: f*ck this! I've got a date with a maniquen.....Maria, We'll have to reschedual your death....same time tomorrow?
Maria: * shakes her head* Ok
*PH walks away and Maria smacks James in the back of his head and walks off in the same direction as the PH while muttering stuff under her breath*
Same sinario.....
*PH closes in behind Maria and James is just about to make it to the elevator*
Maria: *pushes James out of the way* Screw you, you stupid wife killing bas*ard!
James: WTF? I thought we had somthing special.....*is inturruped by PH stabing James in the head*
Maria: *laughs and flips James' dead body off. As the elevator doors close, Maria sees Vanteil drag off James' dead body*
Vanteil: Need - God- within- *is inturrupted by Maria*
Maria: This is Silent Hill 2....
Vanteil: Goddam*it! This always f*cking happens! *drops James and stomps off*
JAMES: ::when he first gets the radio:: Huh. Radio. What's goin' on with that radio...
JAMES: ::watching Pyramid Head and the Patient Demon in the stairwell; starts to remove his jacket:: Aw man! Heeeey, you guys mind if I join in?
JAMES: ...wait, who am I looking for again?
JAMES: Oh boy, I finally found Laura! ::shotgun loading noise:: Time to shoot her.
And I knooow I shouldn't, but...
JAMES: ::in the beginning in front of the bathroom mirror:: Observe as I cast a spell over my nose.
James: You can't kill someone, just because of the way they looked at you!
Eddie: You can't?
James: Nah, only if they're fatally ill.
Eddie: Really?
James: Nothing to it, just put a pillow to their head...pow.
Maria: See. . .I'm real. Don't you wanna touch me?
James: I. . .don't know.
Maria: Come and get me, I can't do anything through these bars.
James: Yes you could! All I have to do is. . .
I'll let your imagination take it from there.
#12
Опубликовано 07 Октябрь 2005 - 06:13
*James, lifting up on the roof in final battle*
James: First floor, second, third, DAMN IT!!! MY NEW BOOTS!! What dog defecated on those footstep? Oh, $h!+, MARY????
Mary: No, Saint Father of Rome! What the f@ck? Where are you been so long?
James: I`m... Loocking for you. But... I`m think you`re dead...
*Mary beatin James her frying pan on the head*
Mary: You, mutherf@cker, think i dead? GET MORE!!! MORE!!!
*James, throw up his pistol*
James: One more heat, and you`re dead. REALLY DEAD!
Mary: Ohhhh... Huh! You scare me! Really scare!
*Shoot*
*...*
James: Oh, f@ck, i`m just kill my wife. Second time... No, that is cool to be alone - I want beer. Cold beer. OMPH!!!! MARIA!
Maria: Yes, yes. Let`s go home. I`m already calling up psychiatry, now they come and treat (medically) you... And me. (taking off a wig...)
Изменено: Лёхыч, 07 Октябрь 2005 - 07:27
#13
Опубликовано 07 Октябрь 2005 - 12:15
You know, i would! Alas, they never say that. Never they have such an all in all normal reaction of a decent human being. That`s just weird.
#14
Опубликовано 07 Октябрь 2005 - 23:52
PH:...
James: My knifes bigger than yours.
PH: No way, man.
Maria: It's just a hangover, I'll be okay.
James: I'm not wearing underwear.
Laura: You never loved mary anyways!
James: HOW DID YOU KNO- i mean..um..Whats that letter?
Laura:...oh god why...
James: Duhhhhhhh...
The door locks is broken perhaps I should break it."
James: Man, I really need to get this piece of Happy Burger out from between my teeth.
Looks at the Great Knife..
James: Hmm...
James: It’s hot as hell in here.
Angela: Well, that's because you're on fire
James: I guess you're right. My sins have set fire to my life.
Angela: No, seriously. You're on fire.
James: *looks at arm, which is currently ablaze* Oh....AAAAAAHHHHH!!!! *rolls around on floor*
#15
Опубликовано 08 Октябрь 2005 - 05:58
James: Didn't that thing stab you?
Maria: There was a hole here, now its gone..."
Laura: You're just a gutless fatso!
Eddie: Thats not very nice...
James: Yea, i mean, of course he has a gut....LOOK AT IT!
James: Why are you in Silent Hill, Angela?
Angela: Im looking for my mama...
James:*mumbles* I killed your mother by smothering her with a pillow...
Angela: What?
James:Oh nothing...*looks around*
Mary: I dont want any of your D@MN flowers!
James: *shoves the flowers in her face* Your takin the godd@mn flowers even if I have to smother- I mean *shifty eyes and thinks to himself* (Keep it together, James....Just hold on two more hours...then my evil plan will go underway)...*smiles at Mary* I love you hunny...
Angela: Oh, I- I- Im sorry....Im so sorry...
James: Angela, are you aware of just how many times you've APOLOGIZED to me since the first time I met you?
Angela:.........
Maria: All you care about is that dead wife of yours!
James: Not true. I care about lots of stuff. I mean, there's rock music, and pork rhinds, and hockey, and--
*SLAP!!*
James: Yes, mistress! Whatever you say, mistress!!
Maria: ... That's better.
James: Maria, I have somthing to tell you....
Maria: Yes, James?
**dramatic pause**
James: *points behind Maria* THERES THIS HUGE-A$$ PYRAMID HEAD BEHIND YOU! I also saved a bunch of money on my car by switching to Geico!
Maria: *screams and runs away*
James: I saved! I thought that ment somthing to you!