250 things James would never say

I saw this on a gamefaq board o i thought this would be a really good topic on this board. What are 250 things James Sunderland would just never say. Ill start this one offwith a prime example which i also saw...

"Bill, bill, bill, bill.....letter from dead wife.....bill, bill, bill...."

or something along these lines

James: "Uh, Maria, do you think you could help me out with opening this refrigerator?"

Maria: "Awwww, what's the matter? Big strong man needs help from a woman?"

James: "Actually, it has nothing to do with strength and everything to do with my inability to open most doors."


Or some more:

"Hey Eddie, think you could spare a slice of that pizza? I'm hungry."


"Hey dont worry Eddie life gets better even though your ugly and stupid."


What can say you about that?

Harry: "Excuse me, have you seen a little girl? About eight years old?"
James (thinks it's Laura): "Take her! That disgusting brat can die for all I care!"
Harry: "What?! That's my daughter you're talking about!"
James: "So you're the person who spawned that thing? Then you shall die!"
Epic fight of the century then commences...

Eddie: "Uh, James, can I ask you a favor?"
James: "What is it this time?"
Eddie: "Well, when I was throwing up in the toilet, my wallet just sorta fell in..."
James (rolls up sleeves): "Don't you worry. I'm a professional."

James: "I really need to get in shape."

James (after leaving Silent Hill): "Man, I hope I never have to go through that again. I think I'll take a relaxing vacation in Ashfield..."

Frank Sunderland: "Hey James, my boy, I want to have a man-to-man talk to you... it's about sex."
James: "Dad, I'm 28 years old, I'm married. I know all about it."
Frank: "Then how come you don't have any of them kids?"
James: "Well, because we didn't want any and Mary died before that happened, you senile old fool."
Frank: "Did you know that kids are born out of apartment rooms? And those kids have this thing attached to them. Oddest thing I ever seen."
James: "Dad, are you off your medication again?"
Frank: "So I kept the umbilical cord in this box, but for some reason it started to smell, and then you came along."
James: " I'm calling the men with the white jackets...."
Frank: "And that's where babies come from!"
James: "Dad, go back home. I'll buy you a hooker or something. Will you go back home?"
Frank: "That's why you never had any kids, you idiot. You didn't have any of them apartment thingies..."
James: "Don't make me pull out my pillow, Dad...."

James: "What? Maria is really only my sexual fantasy brought to life? Then why does she still have clothes on?"

James to Pyramid Head: "You know, it's not the size of the sword, it's how you wield it."

Eddie: "If anyone makes fun of me again, I'll kill 'em, just like that!"
James: "I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. Did you say something, lard@$$?"

James (last words): "Bottomless Gorge? I wonder what's down there..."

One word - LOL =)
Especially this:

Most of all, I like this one:

Thank you... I'm glad you like it...

Some more:

*James is reading his wife's letter the first time.*


"In my restless dreams I see that town... Silent Hill.
You promised you'd take me there again some day...
but, you never did..."


*James crumbles the letter up.*

"Oh man! She's still alive?!? I thought I killed her! Oh man... the police are going to be all after me for attempted murder. Okay James, think.. think! Maybe I should grow a beard? Go to Africa and camp out for a while!? Or.... I possibly could..... or maybe I.... I will..... etc."


James:

"You havent seen that red pyrimid thing have you?"

Ediie:

Wha.. I dont know what your talking about.."

James :

" then your a worthless piece of s**t."


*Video finishes playing in Room 312*

Laura: Hey James? Whats the matter, huh?

James: .........

Laura: James? Lets go.

James: ..........

Laura: James?

James: .....I.....Got.....A.... SNUFF VIDEO!!!

*James jumps around*

How about something along the lines of "WTF? I saw such this topic at SHF already, dammit!"

Maria: It doesn’t matter who I am... I’m here for you, James. See? I’m real. Don’t you want to touch me?
James: Urrrm, no... But if you were a DOG, then...


Angela: No. Don’t pity me. I’m not worth it....
James: Hell yeah! Get the f*** away from my way already, stupid bitch!


Eddie: Killin’ a person ain’t no big deal. Just put the gun to their head...pow!
James: That's right (*then shots poor Eddie down with a shotgun*).


James: Angela! Relax!
Angela: Don’t order me around!
James: I’m not trying to order you.
Angela: So what do you want then? Oh I see, you’re trying to be nice to me, right? :lighten: I know what you’re up to. It’s always the same. You’re only after one thing.
James: so you have figured me out, little girl
Angela: ???
James (*pushes Angela to the ground and rapes her*)
Angela: No, daddy, please no! Daddy!! No, not there :loki25: ... here... yeah, right.... owwww.... that's much better... daddy....


(James rides Brookhaven elevator with Maria)
Announcer: Hi there everybody, thanks for tuning in. Welcome to another exciting edition of “Trick or Treat”! Here you either answer the questions correctly and win a great prize, or fail to answer correctly and receive the punishment. It all depends on you. And our lucky, or should I say unlucky, challenger today is James! James Sunderland!
James (opens a thick book): This time i have a Silent Hill Plot Analysis ! Bwahahaha!!!

I stole it from there

James (meets PH for the first time): Mary? *PH turns around and smiles at James* James: No... you’re not. I can’t believe it... You could be her twin. Your face, your voice... Just your hair and clothes are different!! =)

2SilentPyramid
:lol2:


Angela: You could always just beat me up like he always did.....

James: Wellll then. If you insist. *polishes steel pipe*


*In the Angela Cut Scene With The Knife*

James: Angela, there is other ways... you dont have to do this... I mean you can use my chainsaw, or drown yourself, or shoot yourself... theres alot of other ways.

Eddie: Everyone's always making fun of me and pushing me around!
James: Well if you will sit around with your fat ass spilling out of your pants....

Maria: How are you so skinny James.

James: Im on a health drink diet.

James: I swear, if I have to jump down one more hole, I--Falls down the last hole, gets up and turns flashlight on, as Heather did when entering the amusement park.- ...oh, hell.

James: -Sees the first monster in the beginning of the game, clings to it, then gasps.- You're not Mary!

Maria: James!
James: Stop! Lea--wait. There's...two of them? Noooo!
Maria: -Dies-
James: -Gets up and turns around, sees the two Pyramid Heads.- Oh no...whatshouldidowhatshouldido...uhm...uhm...I know! -Takes out a tube of mentos, starts dancing(badly) and singing the mentos theme.-
PH1: That's it, I quit. -Walks away.-

Author burn!!!! Write more!!!
Rollo :roll2: :lol2:

Изменено: Лёхыч, 07 Октябрь 2005 - 06:13

*As James and Maria are running down the hallway being chased by PH*

James: *stops suddenly and turns are to look at Maria*
Maria: *runs into James* What the hell are you doing?! Keep going you dumb*ss! Im going to die in like *looks at watch* 2 MINUTES!
James: *still stares at her,grinning for a while*
*PH soon catches up and runs into Maria, falling down. It takes him a while to get up because of his big head*
PH: Dude! What the f*ck are you doing?! We're in the middle of a game!
James:* still staring and grinning, announces loudly, I've got new socks on!
Maria: *looks at him funny* Oh my god.....
PH: f*ck this! I've got a date with a maniquen.....Maria, We'll have to reschedual your death....same time tomorrow?
Maria: * shakes her head* Ok
*PH walks away and Maria smacks James in the back of his head and walks off in the same direction as the PH while muttering stuff under her breath*

Same sinario.....

*PH closes in behind Maria and James is just about to make it to the elevator*
Maria: *pushes James out of the way* Screw you, you stupid wife killing bas*ard!
James: WTF? I thought we had somthing special.....*is inturruped by PH stabing James in the head*
Maria: *laughs and flips James' dead body off. As the elevator doors close, Maria sees Vanteil drag off James' dead body*
Vanteil: Need - God- within- *is inturrupted by Maria*
Maria: This is Silent Hill 2....
Vanteil: Goddam*it! This always f*cking happens! *drops James and stomps off*
JAMES: ::when he first gets the radio:: Huh. Radio. What's goin' on with that radio...

JAMES: ::watching Pyramid Head and the Patient Demon in the stairwell; starts to remove his jacket:: Aw man! Heeeey, you guys mind if I join in?

JAMES: ...wait, who am I looking for again?

JAMES: Oh boy, I finally found Laura! ::shotgun loading noise:: Time to shoot her.

And I knooow I shouldn't, but...

JAMES: ::in the beginning in front of the bathroom mirror:: Observe as I cast a spell over my nose.

James: You can't kill someone, just because of the way they looked at you!
Eddie: You can't?
James: Nah, only if they're fatally ill.
Eddie: Really?
James: Nothing to it, just put a pillow to their head...pow.

Maria: See. . .I'm real. Don't you wanna touch me?

James: I. . .don't know.

Maria: Come and get me, I can't do anything through these bars.

James: Yes you could! All I have to do is. . .

I'll let your imagination take it from there.

Can I try? :lighten:
*James, lifting up on the roof in final battle*
James: First floor, second, third, DAMN IT!!! MY NEW BOOTS!! What dog defecated on those footstep? Oh, $h!+, MARY????
Mary: No, Saint Father of Rome! What the f@ck? Where are you been so long?
James: I`m... Loocking for you. But... I`m think you`re dead...
*Mary beatin James her frying pan on the head*
Mary: You, mutherf@cker, think i dead? GET MORE!!! MORE!!!
*James, throw up his pistol*
James: One more heat, and you`re dead. REALLY DEAD!
Mary: Ohhhh... Huh! You scare me! Really scare!
*Shoot*
*...*
James: Oh, f@ck, i`m just kill my wife. Second time... No, that is cool to be alone - I want beer. Cold beer. OMPH!!!! MARIA!
Maria: Yes, yes. Let`s go home. I`m already calling up psychiatry, now they come and treat (medically) you... And me. (taking off a wig...)

Изменено: Лёхыч, 07 Октябрь 2005 - 07:27

It`s just obvious. Something like, Oh jesus freaking god, what in the hell is this place, god dammit?!! It`s bleeding all over!! Please let me outta here! I don`t wanna die!.

You know, i would! Alas, they never say that. Never they have such an all in all normal reaction of a decent human being. That`s just weird.

James: *staring at PH*
PH:...
James: My knifes bigger than yours.
PH: No way, man.

Maria: It's just a hangover, I'll be okay.
James: I'm not wearing underwear.

Laura: You never loved mary anyways!
James: HOW DID YOU KNO- i mean..um..Whats that letter?
Laura:...oh god why...
James: Duhhhhhhh...

The door locks is broken perhaps I should break it."

James: Man, I really need to get this piece of Happy Burger out from between my teeth.

Looks at the Great Knife..

James: Hmm...

James: It’s hot as hell in here.

Angela: Well, that's because you're on fire

James: I guess you're right. My sins have set fire to my life.

Angela: No, seriously. You're on fire.

James: *looks at arm, which is currently ablaze* Oh....AAAAAAHHHHH!!!! *rolls around on floor*

James looking at Maria in the cell

James: Didn't that thing stab you?
Maria: There was a hole here, now its gone..."


Laura: You're just a gutless fatso!
Eddie: Thats not very nice...
James: Yea, i mean, of course he has a gut....LOOK AT IT!


James: Why are you in Silent Hill, Angela?
Angela: Im looking for my mama...
James:*mumbles* I killed your mother by smothering her with a pillow...
Angela: What?
James:Oh nothing...*looks around*


Mary: I dont want any of your D@MN flowers!
James: *shoves the flowers in her face* Your takin the godd@mn flowers even if I have to smother- I mean *shifty eyes and thinks to himself* (Keep it together, James....Just hold on two more hours...then my evil plan will go underway)...*smiles at Mary* I love you hunny...

Angela: Oh, I- I- Im sorry....Im so sorry...
James: Angela, are you aware of just how many times you've APOLOGIZED to me since the first time I met you?
Angela:.........

Maria: All you care about is that dead wife of yours!

James: Not true. I care about lots of stuff. I mean, there's rock music, and pork rhinds, and hockey, and--

*SLAP!!*

James: Yes, mistress! Whatever you say, mistress!!

Maria: ... That's better.

James: Maria, I have somthing to tell you....
Maria: Yes, James?
**dramatic pause**
James: *points behind Maria* THERES THIS HUGE-A$$ PYRAMID HEAD BEHIND YOU! I also saved a bunch of money on my car by switching to Geico!
Maria: *screams and runs away*
James: I saved! I thought that ment somthing to you!